MARRIED COUPLE YEMI AND AYADA LAWAL TALK TO HEDONIST ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP, TRADITIONS AND POSSIBLE CHILDREN
How long have you two been together?
Ayda: We have been together for six years.
How long were you engaged for?
Yemi: Six months and we planned our dream wedding during that time.
And what kind of wedding did you guys want?
Ayda: We both take pride in our culture and background , but we did not want it to be the only focus of the wedding , as we are young modern couple. We wanted the wedding to represent both of us and we managed to do that.
Was it difficult planning the wedding?
Yemi: To be honest, organising a wedding wasn’t as difficult as we thought it would be, considering we only had six month’s it all went relatively smoothly.
So how do you find that balance?
Ayda: It’s not a conscious thing. It happens everyday all day. We constantly communicate during the day, and we are always learning from one another. It’s a subconscious kind of thing.
Where did you guys meet?
Yemi: We met at a club called Play Room.
Ayda: I used to think you could never meet someone of significance in a club, so I was never on the look out for anyone. So I guess that’s how destiny works, it just creeps up on you. Never say never.
What was the first thing that attracted you to your husband?
Ayda: I actually think it was love at first sight. We both looked at each other at the same time and we had a connection.
Yemi: When I first saw my wife, I found her very attractive with her Iranian look. Growing up in London I saw the English, the Asian and black girls, but Ayada was a whole different calibre. She looked so great and interesting, and I knew I had to talk to her.
And has it been smooth sailing since then?
Yemi: No, we actually split up for a year before getting married. We didn’t fully understand what we wanted and we didn’t communicate well. But we got back together and we are so much stronger because now we know how to communicate our wants, needs and desires.
How would you describe the love you feel today?
Yemi: To be honest we are best friends and our romance is unstoppable. We constantly show our love through our passion so we have a really healthy relationship.
Do you think having children will change the marriage?
Ayda: I think anything can change a marriage. But I do feel like children or no children you should always keep a balance between work, love and party. Hopefully we will one day be able to squeeze children into that equation.
Do you think your different cultures will effect how you raise children, or even the size of your family?
Ayda: I think just like our wedding our children will have to represent us, and the reasons we do it has to be for our reasons and not because of our different cultures. For example in Nigeria it’s quite common for women to stay home while men continue on with their jobs and social lives. But in Iranian culture, they say children are necessary to keep the love alive so big families are encouraged with involvement from both parents. But with us, we will do it our way.
Any advice for young couples?
Yemi: I think no matter what struggles you have, you have to keep saying to yourself “I am in love with this woman and she is in love with me”, because times will get tough, and you will feel heartbreak but as long as you remember that mantra it will keep you going.